Monday, September 25, 2006

The Plan?

I'm surrounded by boxes because I'm moving in 2 weeks and surrounded by papers and books because I have a new CNA class that started tonight and I'm feeling just a bit overwhelmed right now. I can only go so fast and that's really pretty slow these days and nothing seems to be coming together like the PLAN.

Okay, I never had a PLAN, but I wish I did. I guess I just thought that everything would fall into place and I'd find the energy somewhere. Alas, that energy is hiding somewhere under a box, I think. An empty box. This is hard stuff. Just going through things to decide if I want them to move with me is so time consuming and thought provoking. I have so many memories here that it's hard to just cast off some just because I won't have room for them in the place I am going.

I'm still so angry that this has been forced upon me by a landlord who wants to live here for 3 or 4 nights a week. He actually had the nerve to call me last week to say that I might be able to stay if he can work something out but it wasn't certain...arrrrgh. I have already totally disrupted my life and plans to comply with his plans and I wouldn't stay now if I could stay rent-free! I would love to slap, slap, slap him up side the head.

But, on the other hand, I need a smaller place because I can't take care of a large place as well any more. I have to make my energy last all day and portion it out a little at a time. That has been very frustrating for me. I've always been so active and full steam ahead on everything in my life. To slow it down has been a challenge. To ask for help *gasp* has been almost impossible. But I'm learning. And it has even been a pleasure to stop and smell the roses for a while. That was a lesson learned way too late. I would strongly suggest that everyone take me-time everyday and remind yourself that you, too, are worthy of comfort and support. Take care of your bodies as well as your spirit.

Yeah, that's my plan...

3 comments:

LJG aka Pennsylvania Independent said...

I hate moving. I bought my house because I want to limit my chances of moving again

RX850 said...

Me too. But moving is a necessary evil right now. I wish I could afford to buy...I'm sure I'm like millions of others who just didn't plan for an illness prior to retirement.

LJG aka Pennsylvania Independent said...

I really couldn't afford it buy either, but I did. I am kinda regretting I did that, but the benefits are paying back.
I was at the doctor a week ago or so and my FEV1 was 50%. My blood pressure was really high, so my doctor has me coming back for a few more visits.