Monday, January 22, 2007
I didn't dare write a post last week - it just would have been gloom and doom and not pretty. My mind kept going into the nooks and crannies of darkness and despair. I'm not exaggerating either. I had this feeling of impending doom all week in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't go away. I felt sick in the beginning of the week but gradually felt better physically, however, I couldn't produce a decent thought that was outside of myself and my own misery to save my life. I would go between anger and depression and back again to just plain down and out and wallow in there.
By the time that I realized that I hadn't refilled my celexa, I had been without it for about a week. I had been thinking that maybe it was time to start weaning off it because I was doing so well, but now I think I better not try that just yet.
I started on it several years ago for depression that was affecting my life. I was having a very hard time dealing with a full time stressful job and a chronic illness that just overwhelmed me. I couldn't sleep and that compounded everything. Celexa helped bring me back into harmony with my life. The relief brought with it an ability to deal with my life and find the goodness in it without dwelling in the negative too long. I still get depressions but I can work my way out and frankly I thought it was more me than the antidepressant. But this recent episode seems to indicate that I still need the med. And maybe learn some more coping skills.